Uber Adventures 4: “Can you take us to McDonald’s? I need something to satisfy me, because the sex sure didn’t”

It’s been a while since I wrote about my Uber Adventures. The biggest reason was that most of my passengers just were not that interesting until this past weekend.

On Friday, I picked up a trio of university students. Including one who was so drunk he could barely string together an entire sentence. He also had no idea where he was going. If not for his friends, I’m not sure where he would have ended up that night. During the ride, he made a phone call talking to someone about smoking weed and getting laid. Since he was so drunk he figured his odds were about 50-50. He asked me, what I thought he odds were of getting laid. Just to play with him a little, I said he definitely had a better chance than half. He of course believed me. What can I say; you have to keep the drunks happy.

I can guarantee his odds of getting laid, were significantly lower than that 50-50. When we got to the destination he struggled getting out of the car. In fact, he made getting out of a car look to be incredibly difficult. He basically fell out of the car, and struggled to walk where ever he was going.

It was late Friday night, early Saturday morning, almost 4am, when I picked up two girls in the north east area of the city. They rushed to the car, and could not have got away from the house they were in fast enough. As soon as they both got in the car, the one girl said “we are never talking about that again.” Trust me; it only gets better from there. The girl then complains about her night and the pathetic guy she was with that night.

“Can you take us to McDonald’s? I need something to satisfy me, because the sex sure didn’t.” Her quote has to be one of the greatest quotes, I have ever heard. Maybe McDonalds will want to use that as an endorsement.

As I drive them to McDonalds, she complains about her bad decision and how terrible the sex was. She talks about her last relationship and how in love she was with her ex. Her friend is more concerned with getting a text back from the guy she was with.

We get to McDonalds and they proceed to order. Only one problem, they attempt to order Coca-Cola, only problem McDonalds is out of just about every drink they have. Making me wonder, how in the world does McDonalds run out of Coke? Waiting in the drive through, the same girl who complained about the bad sex, now describes her sex life with a former OHL player in a parking lot near her work. You have to believe me, when I say her stories were very entertaining.

As we drive back, the girl acknowledges me and asserts that I must think she is a huge slut. I don’t remember what I said, if I even said anything. But like I have said in previous posts, I don’t care anyone else’s sex life. Everyone loves sex, so go have as much sex as you like. About 20 minutes later, the ride was over, which is too bad, could have listened to this girls for a bit longer.

The next night, I was driving in another city during their unofficial second homecoming of the year. The nice thing was it was surging the whole time, and I got a lot of five star reviews. The bad parts, I didn’t really know where I was going, and I didn’t get any good stories. Unfortunately, all the trips I made were short. Short trips never lead to good stories.

 

Weekly Earnings: $161.98 in 6 hours 41 minutes

Weekly Earnings: $268.31 in 11 hours 24 minutes

Weekly Earnings: $283.29 in 13 hours 57 minutes

Lifetime Earnings: $1,319.64 in 54 hours 51 minutes

 

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